Craving a little ease, nourishment and connection in your day?
I’mma hook you up.
Hi there – I’m Stephanie Hudson; an inspired blogger, wishful writer and health coach-in-training.
I write for the woman balancing many hats.
She might be an overloaded Corporate Goddess busting her butt (or business) up that never ending ladder. Perhaps an ever-cautious Mumma Bear rushing ‘round after her young. Maybe even a Humanitarian-like Housewife; a pleasantly kept domestic whizz who wouldn’t dare serve a meal Martha Stewart wouldn’t be proud of. Or all three?
Sounds exhausting (and a little bit bullshit) doesn’t it? Because it is.
Never before have we seen women striving to be so many things to so many people with a perfectionist standard to boot.
What I know to be true is that this type of perfection pressure creates Monkey-Mind: the non-stop ‘What if?’ thoughts, the worry that your best efforts won’t be enough, the fear that you’ll make the wrong choice (and be judged for it) and, in the pit of your stomach, niggling self-doubt that you don’t really know what you’re doing – and someone’s about to call you out on it.
If you’re nodding, I hear you. I’ve been you. And I’m so glad you’ve landed here.
I created tofindandshare to bring you practical tools and powerful stories to stop the Monkey Mind and help you find a sense of freedom and ease away from perfection. As a recovering Hat Balancer myself, I’m all about kicking the tendency to rush, accept pressure from expectations, place self-care at the bottom of your to-do list and indulge in worry.
I’m here to add value to your already rockin’ self by sharing my journey and transition in finding ease, nourishment and space in my own life. After all, as my beloved Taylor Swift would say, it’s all about learning how to ‘shake it off’.
WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF?
The truth? I’ve spent my life trying to be perfect.
And that’s my problem. It’s been my default position since I can remember. But in 2012 this pressure to produce perfection finally got out of hand and into every area of my life.
Enter Super Girl.
I needed to keep a picture-perfect house, be home to cook my husband brag-worthy meals, graduate with the highest grades, deliver my boss the most researched and professionally presented reports and push myself at the gym to gain the fittest figure all in preparation for a wedding that I would not be perfect unless the guests had had the most fabulous time.
Super Girl? Stupid Girl. And here was the single factor that drove me:
Anything less than perfect felt like failure.
THE AH-HA MOMENT I HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE?
It wasn’t when my body tried to tell me to slow down striking me with a severe flu that sent me to hospital (twice!). It was the moment my body stopped to fall into an emotional (and uncontrollable) heap. I’d never experienced a more overpowering, unbearable and yet desperately needed release.
Ultimately it was a clearly unsustainable mindset drove me to the point of total physical and mental exhaustion. Or as I’ve come to know it, a wake-up call.
WHAT I’VE LEARNED AND HERE TO SHARE?
That wake-up call was a much-needed shake up to show me I was not living my life authentically.
I realised that unless I stopped placing more value on other people’s views and expectations than my own I’d continue to create stress in my life. I’d be giving my happiness away. Everyday.
So, I chose the pursuit of authentic happiness.
I dug deeper. I began journaling. I committed to moving my body to slow my mind. I went to Bali. I went part-time at my job. I practiced gratitude. I connected with my personality type. I learnt about Rushing Woman’s Syndrome (it’s a thing) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (which totally works for me). I spent time in the woo-woo-find-yourself section of book stores. I had a baby (yes, a whole nine month pregnancy too). I practiced more gratitude. I started to challenge my thinking. And I started to win.
After a steep two year learning curve of honouring more ofwant I actually wanted this is what I know to be true:
Stress and anxiety don’t discriminate. Let it get outta control and it will control you.
Embrace your make-up. Your personality type is an awesome look into ‘you-ness’. Use it to your advantage.
Thoughts don’t make your truth. But they do make feelings – it’s all about handling the source.
Power really is in the present. And the smallest of choices can make the most meaningful moments.
WHY WE MIGHT CONNECT?
When I published my ever first post last year I was overwhelmed by the comments, texts, Insta and Facebook messages from girls who got it. My story made them feel human, inspired and relieved. It brought some to ‘read it with tears’ in their eyes because someone was brave enough to tell the truth they lived.
I respect that. I honour that.
So I’m here weekly to put the lessons I’ve found into pieces to share.
My posts are designed to uplift, inspire and add value to a woman’s day when she’s feeling the overwhelm. Or better yet, to help her avoid it at all. I tap my fingers off on this key board to be a voice that helps women ‘find peace’, ‘Say no’, ‘be with their bodies’ and generally find a little happiness TODAY.
If you’re interested in joining the journey or just curious about what pops up head on over to the right (or below if you’re on a phone) and sign up for the next delivery.